(to read Part 1, click here. to read Part 2, click here.)
Recently I posted a question on Facebook asking my fellow moms how they deal with “clothing wars” with their kids. Most moms gave great ideas and advice (which we probably will try eventually) but there were a few moms in particular that wanted to get to the bottom of the issue. They asked if there was too much stuff in her room, maybe she’s overwhelmed? Are there obedience issues that need to be recognized, behavior that needs to be addressed, beyond clothing? So that night I sat in Katelynn’s room looking at all her clothes, toys, and STUFF. And realized that I was doing it to her! I was teaching her to be comfortable in a mess, to be okay with STUFF. We could organize it anyway we wanted to, get fancy organizers with cute labels, but in the end there was just too much stuff. No wonder she was having issues with picking up after herself!
That night (after an unproductive discussion about where we were going to put the baby) was when I found Peter’s book online. After reading it, I am now sadly, painfully, but fully aware of what I have allowed to happen in my home. Not only with the space that the stuff is taking up, which is less space for my family to enjoy, but the habits and lifestyle that I am teaching my children. And it stops now. It has to. It may be a gradual change, but anything worth doing right is worth doing well. (I have to recognize it didn’t get this way overnight, it won’t change overnight!) I want my family to value the LIFE we live in our home, not the stuff. But as it is right now, there’s not a lot of space to live LIFE. My “space budget” is out of whack and needs some major overhauling. There are going to be a lot of hard decisions to make, but Peter’s book helps guide you through them. He doesn’t say you have to throw anything away – just like Dave Ramsey doesn’t tell you what and how to spend your money. But Peter helps cast vision for what you WANT and then offers tools to get you there. You then have to decide if you or your stuff will determine how that space is used.
In the next few posts I’ll start listing which rooms are having to come to light with their realistic space budgets and the decisions we're making about them!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Part 2: Connecting the Dots
(to read Part 1, click here.)
As I was reading “It’s All Too Much” by Peter Walsh, I was amazed at the correlations between his vision, suggestions and “program” and that of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU.) As part of my personal Start Again in 2010 kick, I wanted to get down these correlations - mainly for my own mental clarity! :) (You can read Part 1 here to get an idea of where some of this is coming from.)
FPU: our income is finite - big or small, it is what it is. It's up to you to decide how to use that income to best care for and provide for your family
Peter: our space in our homes - big or small, it is what it is. It's up to you to decide how to use that space to the best benefit for your family.
FPU: tell your money where to go before it tells you where to go.
Peter: do you own your stuff or does your stuff own you? You own your space, YOU have to be the one to say how it will or won't be used - not your stuff.
FPU: if I look at your calendar & checkbook I can tell you what you value by the time and money that you spend on it.
Peter: if I look at your home I can tell you what you value by the space you give it. Is it people or stuff?
FPU: first things first: income is for housing, food, clothing and transportation (assuming tithe is taken off the top). Everything else is secondary. If your income covers those things, then you have some extra to put somewhere else, if it doesn't cover those, you've got work to do! Put your most important expenses at the top of the list and work down. Is dining out really more important than getting an oil change?
Peter: first things first: your home is for your family, sleeping, eating, recreation; everyone deserves to enjoy the home. He does go into detail on each room, but the idea is the same. What is more important: taking up room storing all your kids "stuff" (memories of the past for some uncertain point in the future) or having room for them to play now and enjoy their childhood in the present?
FPU: live below your means. Just because you have some extra money doesn't mean you have to spend it! Save it for something fun and pay cash - invest it - pay off debt.
Peter: live within your space. Just because you have extra space doesn't mean you have to fill it! Leave room in your closet, on the bookshelf, in the drawer or in the pantry for some air. That open space will not only look good, but it will feel good too!
FPU: it's not easy to change financial habits, especially if you're not in a healthy place to begin with. But the rewards FAR outweigh the cost and effort to get there. Live like no one else NOW so later you CAN live like no one else. I'd much rather "retire" comfortably, having taught my children sound financial habits along the way, than to be hoping social security will be enough to cover my bus pass to the food bank while I think of all the coffees and fancy dinners we had that we put on our credit cards. I'll eat fancy dinners and drink all the coffee I want when I can afford it! :) (personal choice, not passing judgment!)
Peter: it's not easy to get rid of the stuff, especially if you're not in a healthy place to begin with. But the rewards FAR outweigh the cost and effort to get there. The emotional stress that STUFF places on the people around it is incredible. (Studies are linking homes with overwhelming clutter and too much stuff with their inhabitants having higher rates of depression and anxiety.) The financial cost of STUFF (purchasing, storing, etc) is ridiculous! The clarity of mind and soul that you get from a cleaned out space is priceless. Why not LIVE in the now, not the past or the future.
FPU/Peter: What do you want out of your life? What are you goals for your home/family/marriage? Is how you're living now (how you're spending money/space) helping you achieve those goals? If not, why not change them? Yeah, it will be hard but why are you doing something that is going against what you want in life?
I was able to answer the questions in regards to money (well, we both did). Now I have to answer them regarding how I live and what I will allow to accumulate in my house. (both of us need to, but the majority of the stuff is mine) Easier said than done!
As I was reading “It’s All Too Much” by Peter Walsh, I was amazed at the correlations between his vision, suggestions and “program” and that of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU.) As part of my personal Start Again in 2010 kick, I wanted to get down these correlations - mainly for my own mental clarity! :) (You can read Part 1 here to get an idea of where some of this is coming from.)
FPU: our income is finite - big or small, it is what it is. It's up to you to decide how to use that income to best care for and provide for your family
Peter: our space in our homes - big or small, it is what it is. It's up to you to decide how to use that space to the best benefit for your family.
FPU: tell your money where to go before it tells you where to go.
Peter: do you own your stuff or does your stuff own you? You own your space, YOU have to be the one to say how it will or won't be used - not your stuff.
FPU: if I look at your calendar & checkbook I can tell you what you value by the time and money that you spend on it.
Peter: if I look at your home I can tell you what you value by the space you give it. Is it people or stuff?
FPU: first things first: income is for housing, food, clothing and transportation (assuming tithe is taken off the top). Everything else is secondary. If your income covers those things, then you have some extra to put somewhere else, if it doesn't cover those, you've got work to do! Put your most important expenses at the top of the list and work down. Is dining out really more important than getting an oil change?
Peter: first things first: your home is for your family, sleeping, eating, recreation; everyone deserves to enjoy the home. He does go into detail on each room, but the idea is the same. What is more important: taking up room storing all your kids "stuff" (memories of the past for some uncertain point in the future) or having room for them to play now and enjoy their childhood in the present?
FPU: live below your means. Just because you have some extra money doesn't mean you have to spend it! Save it for something fun and pay cash - invest it - pay off debt.
Peter: live within your space. Just because you have extra space doesn't mean you have to fill it! Leave room in your closet, on the bookshelf, in the drawer or in the pantry for some air. That open space will not only look good, but it will feel good too!
FPU: it's not easy to change financial habits, especially if you're not in a healthy place to begin with. But the rewards FAR outweigh the cost and effort to get there. Live like no one else NOW so later you CAN live like no one else. I'd much rather "retire" comfortably, having taught my children sound financial habits along the way, than to be hoping social security will be enough to cover my bus pass to the food bank while I think of all the coffees and fancy dinners we had that we put on our credit cards. I'll eat fancy dinners and drink all the coffee I want when I can afford it! :) (personal choice, not passing judgment!)
Peter: it's not easy to get rid of the stuff, especially if you're not in a healthy place to begin with. But the rewards FAR outweigh the cost and effort to get there. The emotional stress that STUFF places on the people around it is incredible. (Studies are linking homes with overwhelming clutter and too much stuff with their inhabitants having higher rates of depression and anxiety.) The financial cost of STUFF (purchasing, storing, etc) is ridiculous! The clarity of mind and soul that you get from a cleaned out space is priceless. Why not LIVE in the now, not the past or the future.
FPU/Peter: What do you want out of your life? What are you goals for your home/family/marriage? Is how you're living now (how you're spending money/space) helping you achieve those goals? If not, why not change them? Yeah, it will be hard but why are you doing something that is going against what you want in life?
I was able to answer the questions in regards to money (well, we both did). Now I have to answer them regarding how I live and what I will allow to accumulate in my house. (both of us need to, but the majority of the stuff is mine) Easier said than done!
In the beginning....
I recently started reading the book "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh, the anti-clutter guy with the accent from Clean Sweep. (he's also on Oprah a lot) It was time to make some real changes in my home and I had no idea where to go. Late one night I did a few Google searches for things pertaining to clutter, lifestyle changes, etc. and found Peter's book. I was able to read a few pages of it online and knew it was what I needed. The next day I checked it out from the library (why buy when you can borrow!) and started reading it during Katelynn's nap time that afternoon.
Side Note: In 3rd grade I lost my childhood love of reading. I'll spare you the pathetic details, but with lots of help from my teacher I began to believe I just wasn't a good reader and if you're not good at something, don't do it for fun. I had a mom and friends that were voracious readers and I just assumed that wasn't me because I couldn't read fast enough to read for pleasure. There had been a few instances growing up and in college where I got "sucked into a book" and was amazed at my ability to actually finish a book - and ENJOY IT! So needless to say, unfortunately, I still rarely read for pleasure, assuming I won't be able to read far enough, fast enough to get anything out of it. That didn't happen with this book!
I got the book on Wednesday afternoon and I read to page 41 before I got a few phone calls and then naptime was over. (Granted, I read a bunch online the night before.) Then Thursday during naptime I read to 194 before Kevin came home. I almost finished the book in 2 days!!! I was getting so inspired and motivated to make real changes. That night on the way to meet some friends for dinner I was telling Kevin all that I was learning and at one point Katelynn says sweetly from the back seat "Mommy, can you stop talking please?" I asked her why and she said because I was talking too much! This coming from the girl that rarely stops talking! I laughed and told her I had a lot to share that night!!
I won't go into all the details here, but what was really starting to amaze me was the correlation I was making between what I was reading and what we had learned in our Financial Peace University course. I'll give you some quick background:
Two years ago Kevin and I took the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University (FPU) course. We had been talking about it for a while but never really got serious about it. Sure we could get the books, but would we really read them? We could take the online course, but would we really do it? So we jumped in with both feet, signed up for the class, and were amazed at what transpired over the 13 week course. We weren't TOLD what to do or how to live. We were offered a vision of a better financial lifestyle and guidelines for what COULD BE and it was up to us to decide how we wanted that reality to be played out in our own lives. We saw what was possible and we wanted it for ourselves. We were consumer debt free within a few months, had a realistic working budget in place that was actually going to help us get to our goals, not just to the end of the month, and we were proud of ourselves! It's no surprise to most people how impressed we were with the course and how much we got out of it. I bring it up to almost everyone I know and encourage (okay, sometimes nag!) them to take the course! Financial Peace. It wasn't an oxymoron anymore. Sure, we're not independently wealthy *yet*, and unexpected things come up, but it's definitely not the topic of heated discussions in our house. I have heard from so many friends how their finances effect their marriages and homes. Oh, how I want for them what we learned from our course.....it IS possible.
Finances may not be the topic of heated discussion in our house anymore but other stuff is. And by stuff, I do mean STUFF. Somewhere along the line I got the "stuff gene" and I began accumulating STUFF and it was time for that to change, but how? Which is why I was getting so motivated by this book, he was talking to ME and it really was possible to live with less stuff and have an un-cluttered home! I won't go into all the nitty gritty of the book - I'll let you read it!! But I wanted to at least start journaling what I’ve gotten out of it and tracking my progress via the blog.
Side Note: In 3rd grade I lost my childhood love of reading. I'll spare you the pathetic details, but with lots of help from my teacher I began to believe I just wasn't a good reader and if you're not good at something, don't do it for fun. I had a mom and friends that were voracious readers and I just assumed that wasn't me because I couldn't read fast enough to read for pleasure. There had been a few instances growing up and in college where I got "sucked into a book" and was amazed at my ability to actually finish a book - and ENJOY IT! So needless to say, unfortunately, I still rarely read for pleasure, assuming I won't be able to read far enough, fast enough to get anything out of it. That didn't happen with this book!
I got the book on Wednesday afternoon and I read to page 41 before I got a few phone calls and then naptime was over. (Granted, I read a bunch online the night before.) Then Thursday during naptime I read to 194 before Kevin came home. I almost finished the book in 2 days!!! I was getting so inspired and motivated to make real changes. That night on the way to meet some friends for dinner I was telling Kevin all that I was learning and at one point Katelynn says sweetly from the back seat "Mommy, can you stop talking please?" I asked her why and she said because I was talking too much! This coming from the girl that rarely stops talking! I laughed and told her I had a lot to share that night!!
I won't go into all the details here, but what was really starting to amaze me was the correlation I was making between what I was reading and what we had learned in our Financial Peace University course. I'll give you some quick background:
Two years ago Kevin and I took the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University (FPU) course. We had been talking about it for a while but never really got serious about it. Sure we could get the books, but would we really read them? We could take the online course, but would we really do it? So we jumped in with both feet, signed up for the class, and were amazed at what transpired over the 13 week course. We weren't TOLD what to do or how to live. We were offered a vision of a better financial lifestyle and guidelines for what COULD BE and it was up to us to decide how we wanted that reality to be played out in our own lives. We saw what was possible and we wanted it for ourselves. We were consumer debt free within a few months, had a realistic working budget in place that was actually going to help us get to our goals, not just to the end of the month, and we were proud of ourselves! It's no surprise to most people how impressed we were with the course and how much we got out of it. I bring it up to almost everyone I know and encourage (okay, sometimes nag!) them to take the course! Financial Peace. It wasn't an oxymoron anymore. Sure, we're not independently wealthy *yet*, and unexpected things come up, but it's definitely not the topic of heated discussions in our house. I have heard from so many friends how their finances effect their marriages and homes. Oh, how I want for them what we learned from our course.....it IS possible.
Finances may not be the topic of heated discussion in our house anymore but other stuff is. And by stuff, I do mean STUFF. Somewhere along the line I got the "stuff gene" and I began accumulating STUFF and it was time for that to change, but how? Which is why I was getting so motivated by this book, he was talking to ME and it really was possible to live with less stuff and have an un-cluttered home! I won't go into all the nitty gritty of the book - I'll let you read it!! But I wanted to at least start journaling what I’ve gotten out of it and tracking my progress via the blog.
Starting Again in 2010
With my business background I'm a sucker for a good slogan. :) They stick with you and remind you of their "owner." Well, I've heard of people starting new years with new slogans and mottos to help them get what they want out of the year to come. Call it resolutions, call it whatever you want, it's change and I applaud anyone that at least attempts it because it means they recognized an area in their life where they need/want change and are doing something about it.
Well, I have a new slogan: "Starting Again in 2010." Funny thing is, this didn't even come to light until I started making the changes, it just kinda fit! (I know there's nothing new under the sun, this slogan is all over the internet, but it's new for me and it works!) This is taking on a ton of areas in my life that have needed change or have been in the process, but now the fruit of the effort is beginning to show. I started it on our family's blog as a lot of the changes have to do with my family. But I decided I wanted to blog a lot to help me keep track and to hopefully encourage others to make changes as well. So when I saw that this blog address was free, I snagged it!! :) I've had a lot percolating over the last few weeks and have a lot to post so here goes!!
Well, I have a new slogan: "Starting Again in 2010." Funny thing is, this didn't even come to light until I started making the changes, it just kinda fit! (I know there's nothing new under the sun, this slogan is all over the internet, but it's new for me and it works!) This is taking on a ton of areas in my life that have needed change or have been in the process, but now the fruit of the effort is beginning to show. I started it on our family's blog as a lot of the changes have to do with my family. But I decided I wanted to blog a lot to help me keep track and to hopefully encourage others to make changes as well. So when I saw that this blog address was free, I snagged it!! :) I've had a lot percolating over the last few weeks and have a lot to post so here goes!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)